QUERY: HOW TO LOSE A FORTUNE AND SAVE A USELESS FAMILY
When twelve-year-old Anthony Wish ‘borrows’ the key to Lord Spur’s Scraggfield Manor, it's for a good reason: thwarting family disaster. Again.
His father’s bankrupt company Wish and Wash Plumbing is being sued for faulty work at the Manor. To pay, Anthony’s family must sell their home and move to Grandpa’s tumbledown cottage in the freezing wilds with no wifi and a pet sheep living in the kitchen. His mother is threatening to throw in the towel and find a life with her yoga instructor. But worst of all, Anthony stands to lose his scholarship to Ducksbridge, an elite school that might actually turn the son of a bumbling plumber into a red Ferrari-driving millionaire.
Anthony’s always known money is the answer to life’s problems and with Lord Spur in New York for a week, renting out the Manor for five little days won’t hurt anyone. But it’ll sure put a dent in the family debt.
Anthony invites Matrix, a hotel-trashing MTV rock star to the five-star Manor. He ‘hires’ schoolmate Draguta Dansky and her family’s circus to entertain – the same Danskys who have a slight problem with anger management, illegal residency and smuggled goods. All Anthony needs is to keep the manor intact, the rock star entertained and the entertainment from being arrested. But when Matrix skips town without paying, hot pursuit is in order – destination Venice where nothing short of a mega disaster might just teach Anthony what it means to be a true Wish. Money or no money.
My contemporary middle grade story HOW TO LOSE A FORTUNE AND SAVE A USELESS FAMILY is complete at 50,000 words and has series potential. If Greg Heffley were in the market for a twin brother, Anthony would be a good fit.
I am a former journalist and feature writer. I belong to a stellar, agented crtique group. I am a member of SCBWI.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
FIRST 250 WORDS
CHAPTER 1
The good news was I'd bribed my mother to take me to the Ducksbridge Open Day. The bribe was a Fruit and Nut chocolate bar from the local In 'N Out . I got it cheap because it was expired. It was expired because only crazy people ate Fruit and Nut. Which was why it was perfect for my mother.
The bad news was we were stuck in a parking line snaking down the school driveway and my mother's 1982 Ford Fiesta, Pretty Girl, was smoking out a herd of grazing deer. And a bunch of parents in fancy cars.
I ran a finger round my collar and de-fogged my sunglasses but unfortunately the scene before me was clear as day. The woman in the Range Rover up ahead was coughing and hacking and pretty much overdoing it. A black limousine out our rear window was flashing its lights and sounding its horn like this was a state of emergency. Incredible. All for a bit of muffler smoke, miniscule amounts of carbon monoxide and a few engine rattles.
I risked a glance at my mother. She was swiping on lipstick like she wanted to snap it off. Not good. I needed to move on to Plan B.
"You know, it's getting kind of stuffy in here," I said. "I can walk if you want."
"I'll stuffy you and that maniac with the horn," she said. "You dragged me here Anthony, you will not put a foot outside this car without me."
The good news was I'd bribed my mother to take me to the Ducksbridge Open Day. The bribe was a Fruit and Nut chocolate bar from the local In 'N Out . I got it cheap because it was expired. It was expired because only crazy people ate Fruit and Nut. Which was why it was perfect for my mother.
The bad news was we were stuck in a parking line snaking down the school driveway and my mother's 1982 Ford Fiesta, Pretty Girl, was smoking out a herd of grazing deer. And a bunch of parents in fancy cars.
I ran a finger round my collar and de-fogged my sunglasses but unfortunately the scene before me was clear as day. The woman in the Range Rover up ahead was coughing and hacking and pretty much overdoing it. A black limousine out our rear window was flashing its lights and sounding its horn like this was a state of emergency. Incredible. All for a bit of muffler smoke, miniscule amounts of carbon monoxide and a few engine rattles.
I risked a glance at my mother. She was swiping on lipstick like she wanted to snap it off. Not good. I needed to move on to Plan B.
"You know, it's getting kind of stuffy in here," I said. "I can walk if you want."
"I'll stuffy you and that maniac with the horn," she said. "You dragged me here Anthony, you will not put a foot outside this car without me."
Love the opening paragraph of your first 250! You have great voice.
ReplyDeleteIn the query you don't mention age group, genre, or word count. You might want to.
Thanks Sarah. I asked Krista if they wanted just the story plot or extra information and she said just story. But you're right those things are kind of important :)) - I'll get right on it!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck, Good Luck, Good Luck!!! Will follow the comp.
ReplyDeleteYour query is awesome! I love the Wish and Wash! Hilarious! It sounds like a great adventure.
ReplyDeleteYour first 250 is great. You show humor and the quirky characters and their relationship right away.
I think kids will love this! Good luck!
Awesome query. Would love to have a fruit and nut bar with the mom.
ReplyDeleteThis rocks and made me laugh. Go girl! Best of luck!
~Jill Haugh
This sounds almost traditionally fairy tale like. I love it! Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteLove the sheep in the kitchen. That sucked me right in. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank y'all, you're helping to keep the jitters at bay :))
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this!!! This sounds like something I would buy for all three of my nephews AND my niece AND myself. I was hooked immediately. I love your voice. Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteJennie!You're too nice. I'm going to search you out right away :)
ReplyDeleteMarieke I can't find your query. Where are youuuu?
ReplyDeleteYou have nailed the voice of this. The premise is over the top in a very down to earth kind of way. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteThe fruit and nut bar bit is great--definitely stuck with me. :) I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteThe title of your book is AWESOME....and your query and first 250 just kept the trend of awesome going. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteI so love everything about this...the query, the name of the plumbing company, the conflict, the VOICE! What a great beginning to your story.
ReplyDeleteReally funny premise and great voice! I want to be there for that crazy weekend at the manor! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI love the mom. I think I AM the mom. Great opening and good luck
ReplyDeleteLove the premise and writing - very cinematic. Well done.
ReplyDeleteGreat premise and query. Loved the first 250, especially the mom and her car. Best of luck to you. :)
ReplyDeleteomg - renting out the Manor for five little days won’t hurt anyone - what could POSSIBLY go wrong?! This sounds hilarious. Very good luck!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great entry. So much competition!! Best of luck to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for such supportive comments. I wish I'd had you all while I was slaving away :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a fun story. Unique premise and good intro! Good luck!
ReplyDelete