Sunday 18 May 2014

My Writing Process Blog Hop

I've been tagged for a blog hop by my critique partner the dynamic, funny, super talented Dana Edwards. She hangs out here http://momslifeponderings.wordpress.com/ with a whole lot of mean dessert recipes

I have the feeling if we lived in the same city we'd get into a whole lot of trouble. So let's keep it safe and stick with the My Writing Process Blog Hop.


What am I working on?

Following agent interest I'm revising my middle grade novel HOW TO LOSE A FORTUNE AND SAVE A FAMILY. When his family goes bankrupt and his chances at a scholarship are all but lost, intrepid money-maker, twelve-year-old Anthony Wish 'borrows' the key to the local manor and puts his business tips into practise...with disastrous consequences.

I am also working on MISCHIEF, a middle grade magical realism story set in a theme park town and based on the real town of Celebration in Florida.



How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I love any middle grade story that sets kids in crazy adult situations and lets them loose. That’s why the movie Home Alone is one of my favourites, why I love the idea of Under the Egg by Laura Marx Fitzgerald and why I can’t wait to get my hands on Tara Dairman’s All Four Stars. 

But I tend to think big and swashbuckling too so when my twelve-year-old wannabe businessman gets his hands on an entire manor and turns it into a money-maker…there’s going to be fireworks. 



                                                 ........................ LOTS of fireworks.


Similarly in MISCHIEF  two boys turn a whole well-to-do Florida town upside-down when they free the mischievous Little People and face the consequences.


Why do I write what I do?

It may be that growing up, typewriters continuously tapped away in our house and now I can’t live without the sound. My mother produced poetry and articles. My father, in post dinner spurts, created several child detective books featuring his seven kids. He self-published. A man before his time?

I guess I’m looking to entertain and give a laugh to middle grade readers. It’s a moment in life rife with pranks and giggles. I remember laughing so hard the top of my head nearly came off. I want to buy into that joy.

Laughter is the common thread in my writing life. I may have to blame it on the Queen. As a cub newspaper reporter who wasn’t very good at news, I was assigned ‘colour’ pieces, interviews, features. One day I got sent to the Governor General’s house where I accidentally breached security and surprised the Queen coming out of the bathroom in scuffed shoes and a crooked hat. Now if that won’t turn you into a laughing fiction writer, what will?


How does your writing process work?


At the very beginning of this fiction writing adventure, a well-known New Zealand children’s writer Joy Cowley told me she had the feeling I leapt into my stories bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and with absolutely no planning.

 “Who me?” I said. “Joy, that’s a terrible thing to say.”

Of course she was right.

Today I am law-abiding and in control. Or pretend to be. I haul in the idea, think, plan, cook dinner with one hand, write notes with the other, use Blake Snyder’s Save the Cat - I so love that man – and then when I can’t stand the suspense any longer I throw it all up on the screen at 1k a day and see if it looks like Bradley Cooper.

When it doesn’t I start all over again. Oh, and then there are screeds and screeds of revisions.

A New York Times bestseller said it took her seven years to write her book. It did me good to know that. These days I allow myself to breathe deeply and think I too can face the eternity of getting a book published. But I’m really hoping that it won’t.

****** I've tagged  reader, writer, critiquer and editor extraordinaire Pernille Hughes for next week's blog hop. She's a contributor to a travel column in the Sunday Times (UK) and she's published in the Sunlounger anthology.She's on twitter https://twitter.com/pernillehughes Check her out on http://www.writingfromtheedgeofdistraction.blogspot.com/
                                              That's where the party is next Monday.See you there.

Friday 17 May 2013

AGENT CONTESTS - WHERE ARE THE BRITS?



 AGENT CONTESTS - WHERE ARE THE BRITS?







                                            


So this week kicks off with yours truly taking part in Authoress's Secret Agent blog contest. These monthly contests are great fun and useful for the feedback readers give you on the first 250 words of your manuscript.

I'm also in mortal combat with two hundred other hopefuls in Query Kombat. Writers of most genres: Adult, NA, YA and little MGers are throwing themselves into the ring hoping to get picked, polished and handed on a platter to ten literary agents who will then choose their winner.

Contests are good news for agents and writers. My wonderfully talented critique partners both got their agents through contests and swear without them they would still be languishing in slush puddle land.

With American bloggers such as Brenda Drake, Michelle4laughs and Authoress willing to slog through the slush pile and get the best writing out there, an agent's job is suddenly a whole lot easier. What's not to like?

All this begs the question - why are there no bloggers in the UK doing agent contests? Does this mean someone will have to blaze the trail? Will that person be me? Is something in the works? What can I say? Watch this space.                 

Thursday 2 May 2013

Writer's Voice Entry



QUERY:         HOW TO LOSE A FORTUNE AND SAVE A USELESS FAMILY                                                           


When twelve-year-old Anthony Wish ‘borrows’ the key to Lord Spur’s Scraggfield Manor, it's for a good reason: thwarting family disaster. Again.

His father’s bankrupt company Wish and Wash Plumbing is being sued for faulty work at the Manor. To pay, Anthony’s family must sell their home and move to Grandpa’s tumbledown cottage in the freezing wilds with no wifi and a pet sheep living in the kitchen. His mother is threatening to throw in the towel and find a life with her yoga instructor. But worst of all, Anthony stands to lose his scholarship to Ducksbridge, an elite school that might actually turn the son of a bumbling plumber into a red Ferrari-driving millionaire.

Anthony’s always known money is the answer to life’s problems and with Lord Spur in New York for a week, renting out the Manor for five little days won’t hurt anyone. But it’ll sure put a dent in the family debt.

Anthony invites Matrix, a hotel-trashing MTV rock star to the five-star Manor. He ‘hires’ schoolmate Draguta Dansky and her family’s circus to entertain – the same Danskys who have a slight problem with anger management, illegal residency and smuggled goods. All Anthony needs is to keep the manor intact, the rock star entertained and the entertainment from being arrested. But when Matrix skips town without paying, hot pursuit is in order – destination Venice where nothing short of a mega disaster might just teach Anthony what it means to be a true Wish. Money or no money. 

My contemporary middle grade story HOW TO LOSE A FORTUNE AND SAVE A USELESS FAMILY is complete at 50,000 words and has series potential. If Greg Heffley were in the market for a twin brother, Anthony would be a good fit. 

I am a former journalist and feature writer. I belong to a stellar, agented crtique group. I am a member of SCBWI.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

FIRST 250 WORDS


                                                               

                                                           CHAPTER 1

The good news was I'd bribed my mother to take me to the Ducksbridge Open Day. The bribe was a Fruit and Nut chocolate bar from the local In 'N Out . I got it cheap because it was expired. It was expired because only crazy people ate Fruit and Nut. Which was why it was perfect for my mother.

The bad news was we were stuck in a parking line snaking down the school driveway and my mother's 1982 Ford Fiesta, Pretty Girl, was smoking out a herd of grazing deer. And a bunch of parents in fancy cars.


I ran a finger round my collar and de-fogged my sunglasses but unfortunately the scene before me was clear as day. The woman in the Range Rover up ahead was coughing and hacking and pretty much overdoing it. A black limousine out our rear window was flashing its lights and sounding its horn like this was a state of emergency. Incredible. All for a bit of muffler smoke, miniscule amounts of carbon monoxide and a few engine rattles.

I risked a glance at my mother. She was swiping on lipstick like she wanted to snap it off. Not good. I needed to move on to Plan B.

"You know, it's getting kind of stuffy in here," I said. "I can walk if you want."

"I'll stuffy you and that maniac with the horn," she said. "You dragged me here Anthony, you will not put a foot outside this car without me."




Tuesday 30 April 2013

THE AMBIGUOUS PUNCH LINE



     

Hello happy readers of The Punch Line. Before we get started let’s just come right out and say it. There’s something about punch lines…..



                                                                That I DON’T GET.

So I decided to write a story with a few funnies of my own. Something that all the middle grade kids and I could laugh at without thinking there was a conspiracy against us.

                         “What did the cookie say when his wife got hit by a truck? Crumbs.”


But my protagonist Anthony Wish got too busy keeping his family on the straight and narrow to worry about punch lines.






So it was back to the drawing board for me. It took a while. And there were a couple of photo shoots in between.

 


But I finally learned the truth:punch lines are so yesterday. To get a laugh all you need is a camel and a red headscarf. No kidding, no conspiracy and best of all, no night school needed.
 
                                          (Harry and I in Morocco. Christmas, 2009) 

Photo credits: